Rap industry mourns as Da Club shuts down.

Unattractive American Eagle employee stationed in clearance section.

Golfer and tennis player argue who’s whiter.

New theme park, Ghetto-Way big hit with suburban white teens.

Match.com launches new dating site for single socks.

New Ecstasy pill, “Pandora” big hit at Raves.

New Ecstasy pill, “Pandora” big hit at Raves.

Member of metal band converts head banging to wind energy.

Bar is caught on fire due to bar being caught on fire.

Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms issues cease and desist of fun.

Study: 25% of American babies now made in China.

Local weather man has trouble making small talk.

Man trusts stranger with laptop at coffee shop to prevent stranger from stealing his laptop.

Man is stoned for killing two birds.

Toyota. Moving Foreward.

BP recyclable fuel puts itself out of business.

Fat cells attributed to McDonalds reaches a record 98 Cellulosillion.

Study: Admitting you’re annoying is the first step to becoming funny.

Jehovah’s Witnesses team up with Girl Scouts.

Sour Cream container doesn’t know who he is anymore.