Saturday, January 16, 2010

How to properly avoid an environmentalist.

When environmentalists ask you, "Do you have one minute to help the environment?" Say "Yes I do." Then keep walking. That way, you don't lie and you make them feel stupid for a change.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

My Top 10 Status Updates of 2009







1. New social networking tool allows you to do everything in isolation.

2. Man stuck in elevator with someone he said goodbye to 15 seconds prior.

3. T.I. shot during filming of “Shoot dat Nigga” music video.

4. Woman says, “hello.” Man responds, “good.”

5. Study: No one says “To-mah-to.”

6. American Survey concludes best Chinese food is Thai.

7. Overweight man recognizes his lower half in a CNN report about obesity.

8. Urban Outfitters sells one-millionth unique hat

9. Two men stuck in a public restroom waiting for the other one to start bowel movement.

10. Local coffee shop voted as the #1 place for almost meeting people