Smartphones cause dingleberries.

If you're like me, the first thing you do when you sit down to empty your bowels is launch your Words With Friends App with your Smartphone. Or maybe you catch up on some email. It's also possible that you think it's disgusting to use your phone while you poop and you keep your phone hidden away as you enjoy your 5-10 minutes of quiet solace. Unlikely. Or maybe you're more like the person that pooped next to me today at work, and you play Need For Speed. Either way, it's evident that Smartphones are infiltrating our bathrooms and keeping us seated for unnecessary, extended periods of time. I'm almost embarrassed to be the guy sitting there, pooping and playing a Smartphone game, next to another man doing the same thing. Sure he's not trying to find what to do with an a-u-i-i-b-o and an x. But still. 10 minutes later, we're still there, playing our games. Even after we're done with our movements, we remain seated on the toilet, done pooping, not wiping, but still playing. I finally realize that I'm at work and I have more productive things to do like writing a blogspot about pooping while playing Words With Friends.